What to Do If You Don’t Get Along With Your Manager

Having a tense relationship with your manager can make your work life feel like a never-ending nightmare. It's stressful, it's frustrating, and it can take a toll on your mental health. But you don't have to suffer in silence or look for a new job just yet. There are ways to navigate this challenging situation with grace and professionalism. In this blog post, we'll explore strategies for dealing with a manager you don't get along with, from open communication to coming up with solutions. So, buckle up, and let's tackle this issue head-on!

1. Reflect on Your Own Behavior and Attitudes

The first step in dealing with a difficult manager is to take a hard look at yourself. It's easy to point fingers, but it's crucial to consider how your own behavior and attitudes might be contributing to the tension. Think about a time when you received feedback that felt harsh. Did you respond defensively or did you take a moment to consider the validity of the comments? Understanding your reactions, like how you handle criticism or stress, can shed light on how you might be contributing to a strained dynamic. By understanding your role in the relationship, you can make conscious efforts to improve it.

2. Seek Perspective from Colleagues

It's also helpful to understand if the issue is unique to you or if others face similar challenges. Discreetly ask your coworkers about their experiences with the same manager. This can help you gauge whether the problem is a personal clash or a broader issue with the manager's style. If others share your difficulties, it might indicate a pattern in the manager's behavior that needs addressing.


3. Open Communication with Your Manager

Communication is key in any relationship, especially a professional one. Direct conversation can be a game-changer. Imagine approaching your manager and saying, "I've been feeling challenged by X and would value your input." This not only opens the door for discussion but also shows your willingness to engage and improve the situation. It's about creating a two-way street for feedback and support. So, be sure to listen to their perspective as well and show genuine interest in understanding their needs and concerns. This conversation can be a stepping stone to improving your relationship. Remember, it's not about winning an argument but about finding common ground.


4. Work Together to Find Solutions

If your difficulties with your manager stem from differences in working styles or misunderstandings, it’s vital to work together toward a solution. For instance, if your manager’s hands-on approach feels overbearing, discuss setting clear expectations and boundaries. You could propose regular update meetings instead of frequent check-ins, allowing you some autonomy while keeping your manager informed. This demonstrates your commitment to maintaining a productive working relationship while also asserting your needs. The goal here is to find a middle ground that respects both your working style and your manager’s requirements. It’s about building a bridge of mutual understanding and respect, despite the differences.


5. Regularly Seek and Use Feedback on Your Progress

After you and your manager have worked together to find solutions to improve your relationship, it’s important to keep the lines of communication open by regularly seeking feedback on your progress. This is about ensuring that the changes you’re implementing are effective and appreciated. For example, if you've agreed to take on more responsibilities to align better with your manager's expectations, you might ask for feedback a few weeks into this change. A simple question like, “I’ve been working on managing these new responsibilities as we discussed. How do you feel about the progress so far?” can be very telling. This not only shows your manager that you're committed to maintaining a positive and productive working relationship but also gives you valuable insights into how your efforts are perceived. It's an ongoing process of adjustment and communication, aimed at continuously improving the dynamics between you and your manager.



6. Consider a Change If Necessary

If you've tried everything and the situation doesn't improve, it might be time to consider finding a new job. As the saying goes, "People don’t quit their jobs, they quit their managers." Your mental health and well-being are paramount. Working in a toxic environment can have long-lasting negative impacts on your life. Sometimes, the best solution is to move on to an opportunity where you feel valued and respected.




Dealing with a difficult manager is a common workplace challenge, but it doesn't have to define your entire job experience. By taking proactive steps and approaching the situation with professionalism and grace, you can either improve your current situation or make an informed decision to move on. Remember, your mental health and well-being should always be a priority.


If you're considering a job change, don't forget to check out Annie Margarita Yang’s book, The 5-Day Job Search. It's packed with insights and strategies on how to find a new job quickly and effectively. You can find it here: The 5-Day Job Search. This book could be the key to unlocking your next great opportunity!

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